Online Dating Undercover: Part 3

"Making Contact"

Okay, thus far I haven’t taken any initiative in the browsing department. Literally, I haven’t even done one search to see who’s out there. Let ‘em come to you. That’s my philosophy. Actually, that isn’t even remotely close to my philosophy. I’ve always been a hunter/gatherer. Little role reversal there. I see something I like—I spring into action. Like a graceful, powerful hippo. So, I haven’t done that yet…still hesitant. What if I see someone I like? Then what? I don’t really want to make the first contact. They can do that. Then I’ll decide if I want to respond. Okay, I’m glad I just talked that out…I will not make any preliminary moves. I’ll still let them do the up- front work. Good.

Except that, hold on. Here’s the exceptional to the rule. A guy just ‘viewed’ my profile, but didn’t leave any kind of message. I of course wanted to see who’s looking at me, so I clicked on his profile and guess what? He’s cute and educated and interesting. Hmm…this does change things. He didn’t contact me, but I’d kind of like to get to know him. We’ll give it a few days. See if he checks me out again. Then maybe—maybe—I’ll send him a “flirt”. (Isn’t that the dumbest thing you’ve heard of, by the way? Sending total strangers, adults no less, “flirts” that say things like “I like you” or “You’re cute.”) Gee, Mister, wanna share my lollipop? L-to the–ame.

Oh wow, I just looked at the clock. It’s 1:00 o’clock in the morning? What are all these people doing online? I’m up because, obviously, I’m writing this, but I keep checking in on my site, and without fail, every time I do, it says a few more people have looked at my profile. What are you people doing? Go to bed!

You know, I feel slightly bad when I scroll through the pictures of the guys who have viewed me and I just pass right by them because of their looks. It’s true though, I guess, that despite all the fantastic sweet goodness inside you, the first thing that’s gonna get a dude’s attention is your face (or body), which is why my profile picture has been meticulously photoshopped. Just kidding.

Also, you should know; I’m the queen of double standards. I have every intention of playing these guys if the occasion calls for it…but they sure as heckfire better not try to pull a fast one on me. Or the consequences will be dire.