Online Dating Undercover: Part 11

"A Delicious Opportunity"

Woow! I almost got busted. I was in the middle of writing some stuff down for this blog when a guy opened a chat window with me. This is only the first part of the conversation, but you’ll see what I mean. (And again…good grammar…correct spelling…is that so much to ask for?!!)

provo007: hi
provo007: cute pics
Me : thanks!
provo007: what are you up to tongiht?
Me : writing. working on my blog
provo007: oh fun
provo007: just your personal blog?
Me : no, I have one that's written for lds women...kind of funny anecdotes given from my very cynical, sarcastic point of view :)
Me : what are YOU up to?
provo007: watching the news...lol **why is that funny?**
provo007: ok..whats the link to yoru blog..would be fun to see
Me : oh no! women only.
provo007: lol..ok

Muahaha!

Ooooh, this is exciting—I’m IM’ing 2 guys right now! This should be fun. One is a guy that I’ve talked with before and the other one is a marine in Utah. Oh my gosh, I’m getting so tired of seeing “LOL”. Wait! There’s a 3rd guy! Hahahahahaha! This’ll be good. Oh man, I’m totally going to mess this up and send the wrong message to one of them.

Oh! What fun! An hour later, I’ve finished my chatting sessions with all 3 men, after having come up with some erroneous excuse for logging off. I don’t know. After a while I just get bored. This one guy only gives one sentence answers, to everything, but…he asked me out. So: two weeks in and I’ve got my first date. What a delicious opportunity to gather more dirt for my undercover shenanigans!

Online Dating Undercover: Part 10

"Laziness"

I figured something out; I’ve been perplexed by the fact that so many of these dudes write next to nothing on their profiles. The site gives you 3 little questions that are meant to prompt you into writing something about yourself:

1) A Little About Me
2) How I Feel About The Church
3) What I Do For Fun

But instead of answering these short questions, most of these guys just put, “Send me a message and I’ll tell you”…as if that’s supposed to inspire me to want to delve into the deepest, most poignant parts of their soul. What on earth is my incentive to send you a message? Who do you think you are? Really. And then lots of them don’t post a picture. So what I figured out was this, and it should’ve occurred to me sooner—those are the dudes who just want to browse. You have to create a profile in order to view all the chics on the site, so they just do the bare minimum in the sign-up process.

Sneaky. Anyway…I don’t like it when these lazy guys send me messages or keep looking at me. You can see how many times a certain person looks at you. A little weird. And it’s also a pain, because what if there’s a hottie, whose pictures I want to keep looking at?! I don’t want him knowing that I look at his profile every other day. Because, after all, I am supposed to be aloof and uninterested.

Something else: It makes me a little leery when guys who don’t have a picture or any information keep looking at my profile. They might as well just put the screen name “Creep”, because I’m afraid that’s all I perceive them as. Anyway, I’m online right now and can see that some of the creeps who are always looking at me are currently logged into the site. Shudder. When one of them tries to contact me, I log off immediately. Typically, I only log on to my profile long enough to see how many people have viewed me or to read any messages, and then I’m outta there! I don’t want to risk giving some guy the opportunity to open up a chat window with me.

AHH! Speaking of which…somebody’s trying to open a chat window. Queue the Jaws theme song. Oh man. Who is it? Should I open it? Eek! I’m looking at the guys that are online right now and who have viewed me lately, and if it’s one of them…not interested. Hmm...what to do?