"Pursuit"
At 8:00 am this Monday, the 27th of July, 2009 I shall commence in the scanning process of the plethora of men on the website. I shall seek those profiles that peak my interest even to a small degree and initiate contact! Oh yes, I will push the little button adorned with the heart-shaped smiley face and send anonymous, meaningless communiqués to the men that tickle my fancy. I’ve received quite a few “flirts” from guys, to which I just kind of go, “Okay. Now what?”
I understand it though—the concept. You look at someone’s profile, you decide you want to get to know them, but you don’t know how to start a conversation. If only there were a convenient little button that would allow you to send a little message that’s impersonal, but communicates that you’re interested. Oh, wait! There is one.
Here’s the thing though, once a person’s sent you a flirt that says something like “I’m interested in you,”…then what? (I seem to ask that a lot, don’t I?) I’ve mostly been ignoring the flirts sent to me. Oh, you’re interested in me? You should be. I’m an interesting person. So…would you care to say anything else? You gotta give me a little more than that, boys, to get even the slightest bit of interest tingling. Anyway! Let’s get on with it. I’m going to send some “flirts” and see what happens. Stay tuned ladies...
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Online Dating Undercover: Part 6
"Scuzzies"
Here’s an example of the kind of creeps you have to look out for. BLONDEADAM sent me a message with the subject heading, “You look down to earth” and then the body of the message said this:
“and you look like alot of fun too. I don't go to church every sunday, but I still think its important. I love walks on the beach, hiking, and going to the gym with my woman, seeing movies, and going to restaurants with silverware, and I look for a physical relationship, lots of kissing, cuddling, and what married people are supposed to do, what single people are supposed to wait till they are married before doing...alan in sanjose California”
Really? Did you just write that to a complete stranger, and especially on an LDS website? (And don’t all restaurants have silverware?)
Here’s an example of the kind of creeps you have to look out for. BLONDEADAM sent me a message with the subject heading, “You look down to earth” and then the body of the message said this:
“and you look like alot of fun too. I don't go to church every sunday, but I still think its important. I love walks on the beach, hiking, and going to the gym with my woman, seeing movies, and going to restaurants with silverware, and I look for a physical relationship, lots of kissing, cuddling, and what married people are supposed to do, what single people are supposed to wait till they are married before doing...alan in sanjose California”
Really? Did you just write that to a complete stranger, and especially on an LDS website? (And don’t all restaurants have silverware?)
Online Dating Undercover: Part 5
"Conversations"
I don’t like the fact that anyone on the dating site can see that you’re online and immediately engage you in instant messaging. They, on their side, click a button, and without your consent, a chat window is opened up on your side. Here are a few of those spontaneous, unwarranted conversations that started before I could even end them. P.S. this first guy’s English skills will make you shudder. And this is the actual conversation...verbatim.
*ANAHEIMFUN
anaheimFun: hi sexy
anaheimFun: how are you
anaheimFun: are you single
anaheimFun: how life in az
anaheimFun: your are a cuttie
Me: dang, that was a lot of questions in a short amount of time
anaheimFun: lol
Me: and you are...?
anaheimFun: yes i very single, work at disneyland and my name is johnny anaheimFun: lol
Me: Hi Johnny. :) you work at D-land?! sweet! what do you do? anaheimFun: never marred yet
anaheimFun: i work in restaunt
Me: which one?
anaheimFun: all over the parks
anaheimFun: todayall ne orlean
anaheimFun: like bluebayu
Me: fun!
anaheimFun: cafe freshmarket
anaheimFun: yes do you like disneyland
Me: holy tar, yes. the indiana jones ride is my favorite
anaheimFun: lol you should come hook up with me
anaheimFun: lol
Me: wow. well aren't you just direct
anaheimFun: lol
Me: well listen sparky, i was just about to log off **a lie of course**
anaheimFun: you could go alot and any girl who marry me would get to go free anaheimFun: do u text
Me: oh my gosh, i'm leaving now. good bye!
anaheimFun: 801-887-6680 **not the actual number**
anaheimFun: i just kidding
anaheimFun: dont leave
Me: gotta run. things to do. bi!
anaheimFun: text me
anaheimFun: please
Me: now you sound desperate. get back to work johnny. bi!
And literally I had to log out within the next 2 seconds so that he wouldn’t keep writing. He’s only 24, but still……24. Wow.
And there is such a thing as overusing the "LOL" abbreviation. Or maybe this kid really does just LOL (that's 'laugh out loud' for you text novices" all the time. Bless his heart...
I don’t like the fact that anyone on the dating site can see that you’re online and immediately engage you in instant messaging. They, on their side, click a button, and without your consent, a chat window is opened up on your side. Here are a few of those spontaneous, unwarranted conversations that started before I could even end them. P.S. this first guy’s English skills will make you shudder. And this is the actual conversation...verbatim.
*ANAHEIMFUN
anaheimFun: hi sexy
anaheimFun: how are you
anaheimFun: are you single
anaheimFun: how life in az
anaheimFun: your are a cuttie
Me: dang, that was a lot of questions in a short amount of time
anaheimFun: lol
Me: and you are...?
anaheimFun: yes i very single, work at disneyland and my name is johnny anaheimFun: lol
Me: Hi Johnny. :) you work at D-land?! sweet! what do you do? anaheimFun: never marred yet
anaheimFun: i work in restaunt
Me: which one?
anaheimFun: all over the parks
anaheimFun: todayall ne orlean
anaheimFun: like bluebayu
Me: fun!
anaheimFun: cafe freshmarket
anaheimFun: yes do you like disneyland
Me: holy tar, yes. the indiana jones ride is my favorite
anaheimFun: lol you should come hook up with me
anaheimFun: lol
Me: wow. well aren't you just direct
anaheimFun: lol
Me: well listen sparky, i was just about to log off **a lie of course**
anaheimFun: you could go alot and any girl who marry me would get to go free anaheimFun: do u text
Me: oh my gosh, i'm leaving now. good bye!
anaheimFun: 801-887-6680 **not the actual number**
anaheimFun: i just kidding
anaheimFun: dont leave
Me: gotta run. things to do. bi!
anaheimFun: text me
anaheimFun: please
Me: now you sound desperate. get back to work johnny. bi!
And literally I had to log out within the next 2 seconds so that he wouldn’t keep writing. He’s only 24, but still……24. Wow.
And there is such a thing as overusing the "LOL" abbreviation. Or maybe this kid really does just LOL (that's 'laugh out loud' for you text novices" all the time. Bless his heart...
Online Dating Undercover: Part 4
"Smooth Talking"
Ugh. Please spare me this embarrassing attempt to quickly establish a connection and appear sexy or debonair, or whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. That’s how LOANPREZ started it. “You have very kissable lips.” Excuse me? Who the heck are you, and how fake that you’d comment on my lips, because they’ve never garnered special attention before. They’re normally sized and not preternaturally plump, so what are you talking about? Do you start all your conversations with strange women like that? Get a life. Those are the guys who are obviously just looking to hook up.
Ugh. Please spare me this embarrassing attempt to quickly establish a connection and appear sexy or debonair, or whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. That’s how LOANPREZ started it. “You have very kissable lips.” Excuse me? Who the heck are you, and how fake that you’d comment on my lips, because they’ve never garnered special attention before. They’re normally sized and not preternaturally plump, so what are you talking about? Do you start all your conversations with strange women like that? Get a life. Those are the guys who are obviously just looking to hook up.
Online Dating Undercover: Part 3
"Making Contact"
Okay, thus far I haven’t taken any initiative in the browsing department. Literally, I haven’t even done one search to see who’s out there. Let ‘em come to you. That’s my philosophy. Actually, that isn’t even remotely close to my philosophy. I’ve always been a hunter/gatherer. Little role reversal there. I see something I like—I spring into action. Like a graceful, powerful hippo. So, I haven’t done that yet…still hesitant. What if I see someone I like? Then what? I don’t really want to make the first contact. They can do that. Then I’ll decide if I want to respond. Okay, I’m glad I just talked that out…I will not make any preliminary moves. I’ll still let them do the up- front work. Good.
Except that, hold on. Here’s the exceptional to the rule. A guy just ‘viewed’ my profile, but didn’t leave any kind of message. I of course wanted to see who’s looking at me, so I clicked on his profile and guess what? He’s cute and educated and interesting. Hmm…this does change things. He didn’t contact me, but I’d kind of like to get to know him. We’ll give it a few days. See if he checks me out again. Then maybe—maybe—I’ll send him a “flirt”. (Isn’t that the dumbest thing you’ve heard of, by the way? Sending total strangers, adults no less, “flirts” that say things like “I like you” or “You’re cute.”) Gee, Mister, wanna share my lollipop? L-to the–ame.
Oh wow, I just looked at the clock. It’s 1:00 o’clock in the morning? What are all these people doing online? I’m up because, obviously, I’m writing this, but I keep checking in on my site, and without fail, every time I do, it says a few more people have looked at my profile. What are you people doing? Go to bed!
You know, I feel slightly bad when I scroll through the pictures of the guys who have viewed me and I just pass right by them because of their looks. It’s true though, I guess, that despite all the fantastic sweet goodness inside you, the first thing that’s gonna get a dude’s attention is your face (or body), which is why my profile picture has been meticulously photoshopped. Just kidding.
Also, you should know; I’m the queen of double standards. I have every intention of playing these guys if the occasion calls for it…but they sure as heckfire better not try to pull a fast one on me. Or the consequences will be dire.
Okay, thus far I haven’t taken any initiative in the browsing department. Literally, I haven’t even done one search to see who’s out there. Let ‘em come to you. That’s my philosophy. Actually, that isn’t even remotely close to my philosophy. I’ve always been a hunter/gatherer. Little role reversal there. I see something I like—I spring into action. Like a graceful, powerful hippo. So, I haven’t done that yet…still hesitant. What if I see someone I like? Then what? I don’t really want to make the first contact. They can do that. Then I’ll decide if I want to respond. Okay, I’m glad I just talked that out…I will not make any preliminary moves. I’ll still let them do the up- front work. Good.
Except that, hold on. Here’s the exceptional to the rule. A guy just ‘viewed’ my profile, but didn’t leave any kind of message. I of course wanted to see who’s looking at me, so I clicked on his profile and guess what? He’s cute and educated and interesting. Hmm…this does change things. He didn’t contact me, but I’d kind of like to get to know him. We’ll give it a few days. See if he checks me out again. Then maybe—maybe—I’ll send him a “flirt”. (Isn’t that the dumbest thing you’ve heard of, by the way? Sending total strangers, adults no less, “flirts” that say things like “I like you” or “You’re cute.”) Gee, Mister, wanna share my lollipop? L-to the–ame.
Oh wow, I just looked at the clock. It’s 1:00 o’clock in the morning? What are all these people doing online? I’m up because, obviously, I’m writing this, but I keep checking in on my site, and without fail, every time I do, it says a few more people have looked at my profile. What are you people doing? Go to bed!
You know, I feel slightly bad when I scroll through the pictures of the guys who have viewed me and I just pass right by them because of their looks. It’s true though, I guess, that despite all the fantastic sweet goodness inside you, the first thing that’s gonna get a dude’s attention is your face (or body), which is why my profile picture has been meticulously photoshopped. Just kidding.
Also, you should know; I’m the queen of double standards. I have every intention of playing these guys if the occasion calls for it…but they sure as heckfire better not try to pull a fast one on me. Or the consequences will be dire.
Online Dating Undercover: Part 2
"Screen Names"
So when you create a profile you have to invent a unique moniker for yourself, instead of using your real name. Safety first, people. The screen name should indicate something about you in about two words or less. I wonder how long people stew over making these up.
Here are some of the names of guys who have “Viewed” my account (don't worry, I altered these all just slightly so as to preserve privacy):
• DANTHEMAN (Dan, does anyone besides yourself call you ‘the man’? I think not)
• DEVILDOC (I don’t even know what to make of this one. All I can picture is Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors)
• PYROBOY (really? Are you ten? Do you take a magnifying glass out to the playground at recess and try to incinerate ants?
• LOANPREZ (maybe he’s in finance; but is he really a company president?)
• MRRIGHTNOW (seriously?)
• JELLYFISHFUN (now does that really sound like the kind of title a mature man should post? No, it sounds like the title of a children’s cartoon)
• STEELERSFAN (wouldn’t it be funny if he said something like METHFAN?)
• VAUGHNDAVID (unoriginal, and do you really want to put your full name out there? But hey…keep an eye on this one. He’s cute!)
• THESTEVEBOMB (okay, just like Dan the Man up there, don’t call yourself the bomb. That’s an immediate tip off that you have to write things like that to convince yourself that you’re cool. Please don’t).
• SHYGUY (not so original, but it actually makes me immediately go, Aww, cute. Unless he’s a perverted, pathological liar and is only using the shy card to lure unsuspecting, sympathetic girls into his web. I was once lured in by one of these sticky spiders. The whole planetary male race should blame him for 85% of my untrustingness of men.)
• FIREWALKER1 (hmm…firefighter or circus act?)
• BEACHRUNNER (if you weren’t a flabby middle aged man I might believe you)
• LOOKING4UQT (eww)
And the list goes on and on. Don't worry, I'll be sharing more of these later.
So when you create a profile you have to invent a unique moniker for yourself, instead of using your real name. Safety first, people. The screen name should indicate something about you in about two words or less. I wonder how long people stew over making these up.
Here are some of the names of guys who have “Viewed” my account (don't worry, I altered these all just slightly so as to preserve privacy):
• DANTHEMAN (Dan, does anyone besides yourself call you ‘the man’? I think not)
• DEVILDOC (I don’t even know what to make of this one. All I can picture is Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors)
• PYROBOY (really? Are you ten? Do you take a magnifying glass out to the playground at recess and try to incinerate ants?
• LOANPREZ (maybe he’s in finance; but is he really a company president?)
• MRRIGHTNOW (seriously?)
• JELLYFISHFUN (now does that really sound like the kind of title a mature man should post? No, it sounds like the title of a children’s cartoon)
• STEELERSFAN (wouldn’t it be funny if he said something like METHFAN?)
• VAUGHNDAVID (unoriginal, and do you really want to put your full name out there? But hey…keep an eye on this one. He’s cute!)
• THESTEVEBOMB (okay, just like Dan the Man up there, don’t call yourself the bomb. That’s an immediate tip off that you have to write things like that to convince yourself that you’re cool. Please don’t).
• SHYGUY (not so original, but it actually makes me immediately go, Aww, cute. Unless he’s a perverted, pathological liar and is only using the shy card to lure unsuspecting, sympathetic girls into his web. I was once lured in by one of these sticky spiders. The whole planetary male race should blame him for 85% of my untrustingness of men.)
• FIREWALKER1 (hmm…firefighter or circus act?)
• BEACHRUNNER (if you weren’t a flabby middle aged man I might believe you)
• LOOKING4UQT (eww)
And the list goes on and on. Don't worry, I'll be sharing more of these later.
Online Dating Undercover: Part 1
So what kind of people do the online dating thing? That’s what I want to find out. I had one experience with an online dating service a few years ago. It was disastrous. Here’s what happened. My sister was enrolled on a dating website and as she scanned through various profiles, I sat in the back, looking over her shoulder (giving her advice on the losers to avoid and the hotties to pursue). I saw a really cute guy (or he was in the angle the photo was taken from—when I saw him in person I would find someone substantially shorter, less buff, and more cross eyed than I expected) and told her to email him for me. So we started chatting. And then he got really specific.
How much do I weigh? Why do you ask, and you know what?—that’s kind of insulting. You don’t just ask girls that. But he was cute, and I wanted to keep the flirtatious banter going. Oh, I’m such-n-such, I told him; lying by an inordinate amount. Let me see pictures, he says. So I dusted off the old forlorn photo album that holds my “skinny pictures”. All women have one of these. A secret stash of their skinny pictures. Painful reminders of the past, of thinness not appreciated at the time. Thinness not valued for what it would be worth ten years later and just months short of their biological clocks blowing a gasket.
So I posted some of my skinny pictures for this joker. And they were good. You should’ve seen me in them. I was slender, trendy, carefree. Smiling as hugely as the lady in the Orbits gum commercials. Now I never expected to have to own up to the fact that these were a decade old, because this guy lived in a completely different state. He was about a thousand miles away. No pressure. No accountability. No honestly, basically. Then one day I got a phone call. Hey, I’m in town. Let’s me up.
Queue the dreaded funeral march. So I made an excuse. A few weeks later he was back. And he continued to pursue and pursue, until finally, I knew I would have to meet him. Well…he wasn’t what I was expecting and I’m sure I wasn’t what he was so eagerly anticipating. Yet as luck would have it, all he wanted to do was make out, and since you can do that at any weight….all my worry was for nothing, and our magical courtship came and went like that.
Lame.
So, five years later, I’m old. Almost 30. That’s like 65 in Mormon-female years. And I decide out of sheer boredom one night, to try the whole online thing again, because let’s face it, just finding a guy out in the real world isn’t gonna happen. No one dates any more. People hardly make eye contact any more. The only way you’re going to get anonymous male attention is if you go to the mall on a weekend and walk under the second story balcony, where all the high school boys hang out, trying to look down girl’s shirts.
So I went online and created a profile. It’s witty. Charming. Brilliant. All the things that I am. Oh, it also displays my literary prowess. And good grammar. That’s important to me. I look at that. If a guy says he’s in law school and just working “port time” to pay his way through…something isn’t right. I suspect, because I happen to be a very untrusting person, well, maybe not untrusting…skeptical…realistic…suspicious—okay, untrusting, that only about 50% of what people put on their profiles is the truth. Who knows if the photos are even theirs. Who knows?
I think some people really are 100% honest, and bless their hearts. Idiots. You don’t just put your whole real self out there for people to see. First of all, you need to keep a little mystery! If you’re screen name is StillTrying, I think we can be pretty sure that you’re in a sad, lonely state. You didn’t even try to think of something witty and alluring. StillTrying says “I’m desperate and still trying, trying for my life, to find my special woman. I’m not wasting time. Will someone respond to me? Please? Anyone? Hey, I’m still here…Hello?”
Aren’t I horrible? I shouldn’t make fun of these people and yet…I still will.
Anyway, I’ll admit that I’m a very emotionally immature girl when it comes to “relationships”, the dreaded R-word. Do you know I can’t even say the word “date?” Can’t say “boyfriend” either. I once had a guy tell me (after we’d been dating for nearly a year) that he couldn’t call me his “girlfriend” because I was too overweight. Now…I’m not inordinately large. I swear. I’ve got some extra curvaceousness for sure. Not all men can handle it. Obviously he couldn’t. Weiner. But man, was that statement a blow. Sadly, for years now, I’ve completely bristled my little back hairs when people referred to “dating” or “boyfriends/girlfriends”.
Anyway, that was a tangent. So…I’m gonna go online and check this whole scene out. If I take it seriously, what will happen? Can I really open up with someone? What happens then? Do we meet? Do I try and be coy and mysterious? Fortunately I haven’t got the kind of constitution that makes me worry about what guy’s think. I know that I’m amazing, so either they see it or they don’t. But will the whole thing be a waste of time? I’m sarcastic. Very sarcastic. Will they be able to handle that? Probably not. I think I’ve sent plenty of boys home crying. I hope.
What it comes down to is this. I’m not ready to be married. I’m scared. I love my independence. I really love my space. And I really love my apartment, style, music, furniture, cat…all things that would be affected if a man came on the scene. Or would they? Maybe I’ve got it wrong. So I’m going to approach this from an investigatory point of view. What’s the whole process like? Should you try it? What do the screen names mean? That’s one I definitely want to know. You’re only given about 20 characters to come up with something unique and definable, and you better make it good!
So we’ll keep track of these guys’ movements. What do they say when they initially make contact? What do their pictures look like? Can they spell and formulate proper sentences? Why does it seem that they’re on the site? Really looking for love, or just looking for an opportunity to post shirtless pictures of themselves? The classic picture where a guy takes a picture himself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, flexing, is the best. And there are many of these. Classy. Original too.
And yet, why shouldn’t a person try to make themselves attractive on their profiles? Of course, they’re going to do that. I’m such a cynic. I know I posted pictures that I thought were complimentary. Captured my best side. (The one of me lounging by the pool, where armpit chub is squeezing out of my swimsuit didn’t make the cut).
Maybe by the end of my little experiment I will have come to some conclusions. The biggest one will be this: Am I serious about finding someone; or am I the arrogant self-serving single person who’s just putting her pictures up to fish for compliments—only to jerk her line out of the water at the last minute?
How much do I weigh? Why do you ask, and you know what?—that’s kind of insulting. You don’t just ask girls that. But he was cute, and I wanted to keep the flirtatious banter going. Oh, I’m such-n-such, I told him; lying by an inordinate amount. Let me see pictures, he says. So I dusted off the old forlorn photo album that holds my “skinny pictures”. All women have one of these. A secret stash of their skinny pictures. Painful reminders of the past, of thinness not appreciated at the time. Thinness not valued for what it would be worth ten years later and just months short of their biological clocks blowing a gasket.
So I posted some of my skinny pictures for this joker. And they were good. You should’ve seen me in them. I was slender, trendy, carefree. Smiling as hugely as the lady in the Orbits gum commercials. Now I never expected to have to own up to the fact that these were a decade old, because this guy lived in a completely different state. He was about a thousand miles away. No pressure. No accountability. No honestly, basically. Then one day I got a phone call. Hey, I’m in town. Let’s me up.
Queue the dreaded funeral march. So I made an excuse. A few weeks later he was back. And he continued to pursue and pursue, until finally, I knew I would have to meet him. Well…he wasn’t what I was expecting and I’m sure I wasn’t what he was so eagerly anticipating. Yet as luck would have it, all he wanted to do was make out, and since you can do that at any weight….all my worry was for nothing, and our magical courtship came and went like that.
Lame.
So, five years later, I’m old. Almost 30. That’s like 65 in Mormon-female years. And I decide out of sheer boredom one night, to try the whole online thing again, because let’s face it, just finding a guy out in the real world isn’t gonna happen. No one dates any more. People hardly make eye contact any more. The only way you’re going to get anonymous male attention is if you go to the mall on a weekend and walk under the second story balcony, where all the high school boys hang out, trying to look down girl’s shirts.
So I went online and created a profile. It’s witty. Charming. Brilliant. All the things that I am. Oh, it also displays my literary prowess. And good grammar. That’s important to me. I look at that. If a guy says he’s in law school and just working “port time” to pay his way through…something isn’t right. I suspect, because I happen to be a very untrusting person, well, maybe not untrusting…skeptical…realistic…suspicious—okay, untrusting, that only about 50% of what people put on their profiles is the truth. Who knows if the photos are even theirs. Who knows?
I think some people really are 100% honest, and bless their hearts. Idiots. You don’t just put your whole real self out there for people to see. First of all, you need to keep a little mystery! If you’re screen name is StillTrying, I think we can be pretty sure that you’re in a sad, lonely state. You didn’t even try to think of something witty and alluring. StillTrying says “I’m desperate and still trying, trying for my life, to find my special woman. I’m not wasting time. Will someone respond to me? Please? Anyone? Hey, I’m still here…Hello?”
Aren’t I horrible? I shouldn’t make fun of these people and yet…I still will.
Anyway, I’ll admit that I’m a very emotionally immature girl when it comes to “relationships”, the dreaded R-word. Do you know I can’t even say the word “date?” Can’t say “boyfriend” either. I once had a guy tell me (after we’d been dating for nearly a year) that he couldn’t call me his “girlfriend” because I was too overweight. Now…I’m not inordinately large. I swear. I’ve got some extra curvaceousness for sure. Not all men can handle it. Obviously he couldn’t. Weiner. But man, was that statement a blow. Sadly, for years now, I’ve completely bristled my little back hairs when people referred to “dating” or “boyfriends/girlfriends”.
Anyway, that was a tangent. So…I’m gonna go online and check this whole scene out. If I take it seriously, what will happen? Can I really open up with someone? What happens then? Do we meet? Do I try and be coy and mysterious? Fortunately I haven’t got the kind of constitution that makes me worry about what guy’s think. I know that I’m amazing, so either they see it or they don’t. But will the whole thing be a waste of time? I’m sarcastic. Very sarcastic. Will they be able to handle that? Probably not. I think I’ve sent plenty of boys home crying. I hope.
What it comes down to is this. I’m not ready to be married. I’m scared. I love my independence. I really love my space. And I really love my apartment, style, music, furniture, cat…all things that would be affected if a man came on the scene. Or would they? Maybe I’ve got it wrong. So I’m going to approach this from an investigatory point of view. What’s the whole process like? Should you try it? What do the screen names mean? That’s one I definitely want to know. You’re only given about 20 characters to come up with something unique and definable, and you better make it good!
So we’ll keep track of these guys’ movements. What do they say when they initially make contact? What do their pictures look like? Can they spell and formulate proper sentences? Why does it seem that they’re on the site? Really looking for love, or just looking for an opportunity to post shirtless pictures of themselves? The classic picture where a guy takes a picture himself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, flexing, is the best. And there are many of these. Classy. Original too.
And yet, why shouldn’t a person try to make themselves attractive on their profiles? Of course, they’re going to do that. I’m such a cynic. I know I posted pictures that I thought were complimentary. Captured my best side. (The one of me lounging by the pool, where armpit chub is squeezing out of my swimsuit didn’t make the cut).
Maybe by the end of my little experiment I will have come to some conclusions. The biggest one will be this: Am I serious about finding someone; or am I the arrogant self-serving single person who’s just putting her pictures up to fish for compliments—only to jerk her line out of the water at the last minute?
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