Sunday, November 8, 2009

Oh boy

Huh. If ever a picture didn't match the description...
Meet WONDERBOY. I just got a flirt from him saying "I'm interested in you." Oh goodie. Lucky me. Here are some excerpts from his profile:

A little about me...
I am a 25 yr. old RM from the North Carolina Raleigh Mission. (Wait. That's where you're from--or that's where you served your mission?) I have been back for four years now. (Thank you for going the extra mile to point out that you've been home for 4 years. I figured that out when you said you were 25). I just graduated from college back in August with a B.S. in business administration. I am originally from Colorado and would love to move back there someday which will hopefully happen sooner than latter. (TYPO! The first...) I also hope to work for the United States Secret Service starting in a few years. (Really? REALLY? That's what 8-year-old boys say. Not realistic, Skippy. But it sounds impressive in your head doesn't it. Hey, I'd like to be a spy in the CIA someday, and I'm just gonna put it out there right now so that I never have a legitimate cover. And you think that's gonna happen in a few years? Good luck with that). I presently work doing security for concerts an sporting events, as well as a few "special" events in the Washington D.C. area. (Oh my. Aren't we all intrigued? I mean, I'm pretty sure I know what working security at concerts entails ---busting 16-year-olds smoking weed in the port-a-potties and what-not. But "special" events in Washington D.C.?!
What on earth could that be? I'm sure he's a special advisor to the Chief of Security for the Capitol or something. I mean, if you put the word "special" in quotes, then obviously you're trying to convey that it's something secret and important. Don't you all just wish you knew what those "special" events were?)

How I feel about the Church...
Love it, would/am lost with out it. ******If you are NOT interested in me PLEASE just say so and I will not contact you****** I try to go to church every Sunday but sometimes work prevents me from doing so. (WHOA! Wait! What? I thought we were just talking about church. Did you just try to subliminal message me?!!)

What I do for fun...
(I'm just going to save you from the boring, clicheness of all his responses to this part.) Except for this: I can be a "rough and tough" guy on the outside but deep down in, I am a HUGE teddy bear.
(Whew. Thanks for clarifying. Because looking at you, yah...I see a beast. A hulking 5' 7" creature of a man. A veritable monster, whom you would never believe could have a soft side.)


And now I'm asking myself why I pay a small monthly fee to subject myself to things like this. Wait, I know why. For your enjoyment. :) Anybody want me to hook you up with WONDERBOY? I see great things in his future! Like top secret port-a-potties.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Off the burner


I know! I know. Where have I been? You've been missing my eloquent, witty diatribes aimed at members of the opposite sex--specifically, those on the good ol' LDS Dating website. Will you forgive me if I tell you that I've been ridiculously busy, working two jobs, arranging to move into another apartment, interviewing at any number of places on a weekly basis, caring for a spoiled rotten cat, and trying to maintain my sanity? Naturally, romance went on the back burner. I almost cancelled my membership a few moments ago, but...I just can't do it. This online dating world just gives me way too much good material.

So...I've been out of the loop for a while, but I wanted to let you know that I'm about to hop back in there. I'm going to scroll through the new members and send out my little feelers. See what comes back. Stay tuned... :)